First Run...

Today was the first day that I ran since Lila was born.  As I said in my eulogy, running was going to be a thing that Lila and I did together.  I wanted to continue running because, in my mind, that time is still dedicated to Lila.  I ran in the apartment gym and only ran about two miles.  I felt a lot of emotions in those short two miles.  I was sad that I was doing this without Lila.  I felt angry and hit the treadmill with my hand a few times, once stopping the treadmill.  I thought I broke it but luckily it started up again.  I thought about Lila the whole time and it helped me throughout the run.  It's been over a month since I last ran and I'm out of shape but thinking about Lila and what I want to do for her helped make the run better.  I thought about the 5k race that I want to do for Lila and possibilities of when we could have it.  I think running will help me.  Before Lila was born, I would sometimes have difficulty with motivation to get out the door.  I see that being less of an issue now because my motivation will be spending time with my Lila.

-Mike