I sleep with a blanket

Actually, Jenny and I both do.  Ever since Lila died, we've kept two of her blankets in our bed.  Jenny holds one when she sleeps that Lila used in the NICU.  It is a simple striped one that the hospital gave us.  It smelled like Lila for a while and nothing could beat that smell.  If only that could last forever.  I sleep with one that was wrapped around Lila one of the first times we held her.  It's been since I was two the last time I slept with a blanket.  I think part of it is that it gives us something else to hold on to when we can't hold on to Lila.  Last night Jenny woke up and was thrashing around for a few minutes, I knew she was looking for the blanket.  It was by my hand so I handed it to her and Jenny went back to sleep.  Jenny also carries one of Lila's hats in her purse.  We got to trim Lila's fingernails and Jenny kept a piece and taped it to her license.  I carry my Lila stone with me at all times.  I have her hospital bracelet and a gauze pad with a drop of her blood in my wallet.  I also have a heart shaped sticker that was holding the thermometer on her chest while at the hospital.  These are just things and in no way take the place of our baby but these are the far too few keepsakes that we have left of her.  Yes, I am 31 and sleep with a blanket and will probably continue to do so for a long time. - Mike

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