I've had my Lila stone since I first got it at Lila's memorial. I held it up during my memorial speech to her and told everyone about the stones. I've carried that stone with me wherever I went since that day. There have been some close calls where I've almost lost it. It fell out of my pocket in DC by the Washington Monument but for some reason I realized it wasn't in my pocket and I was able to find it. I almost lost it over a friends house while playing with Evie and her friends. We got home and I didn't have it, but it ended up being in between their couch cushions. And there have been countless times that it has fallen out of my pocket but miraculously has never broken.

But two days ago, it fell out of my pocket in our kitchen and shattered on the floor. I had a feeling that this would happen eventually since I take it everywhere with me, but I was stunned and just stared. That stone felt like it was a living part of Lila that I took everywhere with me and when I saw it in pieces all over the floor, I got a rush of those raw emotions that I had the days and weeks after Lila died. I did not expect that. I got choked up telling Jenny that it broke. Evie was asking me what happened to my Lila stone and I could barely tell her the story without getting upset. I had my Lila stone for 4.5 years, took it with me every day, it became a part of me and now it was shattered. I has been a while since I had those raw feelings and it took me by surprise since I wasn't expecting that.

Evie and her barely 3 year old wisdom asked me "if I pick out a new Lila stone for you, will that make you happy?" I said yes and she picked out a new pink one for me. She was really cute while picking it out and it did make me feel better. I was able to slowly superglue most of the original stone back together. Maybe this was Lila's way of reminding me of how far we've come and how we've had to slowly glue the pieces of our life back together. It is mostly complete but there are still holes that can never be filled since all the pieces could not be found. - Mike