In the car

The past few days when I've been driving to and from work, I have been getting equally upset and angry about what happened to Lila.  I think about her getting older and when I see young kids and teenagers in other cars, I wonder what Lila would look like and how her little personality would have developed.  I find this life we have extremely frustrating and unfair.  Each brief moment of laughter is met with an equal sadness.  This frustration culminates in the car.  I don't have road rage but I've been yelling at other drivers for not going fast enough or for stopping at a yellow light when they should have gone.  I have lost any patience for this.  I also try to be strong for Jenny and I try to make sure that I don't get upset or angry around her.  It helps when I get to tear up the ugly floor at the house with a hammer and crowbar but I don't get to do that everyday.  So when I'm in the car, perhaps this is my daily outlet where I can get upset and show my anger about losing our sweet Lila. - Mike