17 months and 3 weeks

Lila should be turning 17 months old and Eve is turning 3 weeks old today. What a bond these two girls would have shared being so close in age. Lila would probably be so confused as to who this new baby was and why she was making so much noise. Eve probably would have watched her every move and wonder who this person is that looks so much closer to her size than everyone else. It is unfair that we lost Lila and now it is even more unfair that Evie will never get to have her older sister in her life. This is hard. Having Eve here is the greatest joy of our lives and she is everything to us. I think some people assume we are "healed" now or "getting over" our loss better because we have a new baby. I think quite the opposite is true. We are so happy that Evie made it to us safely but we are seeing her do things that Lila never got to do. It is so very difficult and confusing. We should have two adorable girls here loving on each other and us on both of them. We are a family of four disguised as a family of three.