I wish Lila were still here.  She gave our lives purpose and her death has left us incomplete and empty.  Lila was my baby girl.  I didn't know what nickname I would call her before she was born but 'Sweet Lila' was the first thing that I came up with.  Not that original, I know, but that's all I had time for.  I said before that the eight days that Lila lived were the greatest days of my life but they were also some of the worst.  The not knowing if she was going to be ok, the not being able to hold her for three days, from getting good MRI results to learning that she can't live on her own just two days later.  Lila's eight days were filled with so much angst and anxiety but she deserved to live her life.  There is so much wrong with this world and so many people who don't deserve the gifts that were given to them.  Why did this happen to us?  I had counted how many diapers that we had ready (and still have) for Lila.  There are over 1000.  We bought trivisol, desitin and little baby nail files.  We were so prepared to give Lila the best life.  She was going to be Daddy's little girl and Jenny's best friend.  We had so much faith, hope and love for Lila before she was born but right now it's impossible to see beyond the clouds of grief, anger and sadness.  I wish I could make Jenny feel better.  I wish I could hold Lila again.  I just wish Lila were still here. - Mike