This picture was taken about a day or two before I went into labor, it is the last picture we took before we had her. We had gone to Kohls to buy another pair of yoga pants for me and more newborn onesies for Lila. She needed more with long sleeves b/c all the ones we had were short sleeved and we thought she would be too cold being born in the winter and all. I think Mike is the one who got something that night though. I was trying things on because we were wasting time and it was funny to see how nothing fit me. I started taking pictures to show Mike because he didnt think he should come into the dressing room with me. I guess we suddenly cared what the Kohls workers thought about us.

I havent been able to go back to Kohls since and I probably never will go to that one store. We were so happy, so full of anticipation for our baby girl. We can be happy again sure, but never the same type of happiness where your whole life is complete and you are just so in love with your own life. That will never happen again, because Lila will always be missing. I just want to go back in time to this picture and have the circumstances be different for us. Lila deserved better than this.