Before this post, I wanted to address our lack of blogging. I think what it boils down to is that most days when we want to write something, it is hard to put into words what we want to say. We have a lot of blog posts drafted that we haven't finished yet.

As Eve has grown and as she shows us more of her personality, it is becoming more and more clear to me that she would be best friends with Lila. I have thought that since she was born but when I watch Eve around other kids, I see the pure excitement and joy in her eyes. She loves kids especially ones closer to her size. She likes to grab at younger babies and when older kids are running around her, she wants to join them even though her legs do not go as fast as theirs.

We were at a park last weekend and Eve was of course enjoying herself, especially watching all the bigger kids there. At that point I just couldn't help but to think how much more Evie would have in her life if Lila were still here. Lila would have probably taught her so much more than Jenny and I have just by being around. I'm sure Eve would probably have walked earlier than she already did (9 months). It hurst so much that Evie does not have Lila in her everyday life. I picture the two of them together a lot and I always imagine Evie trying to go wherever Lila goes. We give her a good life but she could have so much more with her big sister Lila. My heart breaks again and again when I think about Evie and Lila together. It hurts the most just knowing that Eve will never have her best friend. Just saying that makes my mind spin because it is so unbelievable that Lila is gone. Sometimes it feels like we made it all up. -Mike