We went back to the hospital where Lila was born today for an appointment. We haven't been there since the day that Lila died. The visit didn't start off well. Magee has the worst parking situation. There were no parking spaces at all and I found a guy backing up who was leaving right next to me. The car in front of me put his car in reverse to try and take this spot. Clearly I have the rights to the spot because this guy passed it already. I think this is the first time in my life I actually got in an argument over a parking spot with someone. I had no patience to deal with anything. The guy yelled to me and said he had his grandson in his car and his son just had a baby. I wanted to yell back to tell him that "my baby died, now give me the spot." I have no patience with idiots anymore, I just get so frustrated. There's no way I would have been like that if Lila were in the car with me. This pain is so deep that it lets anger and frustration boil to the surface much easier.
This hospital is supposed to be a happy place, well at least it is for everyone in the hospital but us. While waiting for the appointment, I see Dads and Moms walking in with carseats getting ready to take their babies home. I see a group of pregnant women talking about good places to get stationary for birth announcements. Being there brought back a whole swarm of emotions that were getting the best of Jenny and I. We half joked that we can understand why people can do crazy things in a place like this. This should not have happened to Lila and now we have to deal with the rest of the world who have no idea how good they have it. - Mike