I was watching Young and the Restless today while Evie was napping as I just love soap operas so much and it is a nice break from reality sometimes. One of the characters was giving advice to another about infant loss. The woman had recently lost her infant son after years of infertility. Of course this is a soap opera so the baby is actually alive and has been kidnapped but thats not the point. The point is the advice she gave rang true for me.
She said, "There is a hole in your heart, you need love to heal that." And it just felt so right to hear that. Even after all this time we still just need love.
Dealing with a death of a child is impossible. Just unfathomable to those who have not experienced it first hand. Love really is the only thing that can help. Not judgement, not forgetting, not silence, not avoidance, not misunderstanding. Just love.
If you start out with that in mind when trying to help someone, you will always be an asset for the people dealing with grief. Always. The holidays are hard, grief is a life long process, but the love we get from friends and family is what means everything and helps us to remember Lila.