2013 coming to an end is filled with so much anxiety. We survived the holidays and yet we still have to deal with New Years Eve and a whole new year upon us. It never ends, it keeps coming one thing after the next. This year was supposed to be the year that Lila was born healthy and came home with us. The year where we experienced all of her first things and saw her growing everyday. 2013 was supposed to be our best year as a family but it turned into the worst when we had to say goodbye to Lila. It is all so confusing. On one hand I think I should want the worst year of my life to end, but on the other hand, this year ending makes me feel much more distant from Lila. Time continues to move on. Lila's 11 month birthday is also tomorrow on New Years Eve. Just one month from her first birthday. Being in the year 2013 still makes me feel closer to when Lila was with us. Every year after this will all be without Lila and the weight that carries is too much to handle sometimes. Almost one year later and we can still just cannot believe this is what happened to our precious and sweet baby. We miss her so much.