What a strange day New Years Eve is for us. It is filled with many memories, good and bad, it marks Lila's 23 month birthday this year, and it even has Eve's name in it. Which is good because Mike takes off work on all days with Evie's name in them. (There's only 2!)

New Years Eve in 2012 I was 33 weeks pregnant with Lila. I had a doctor's appointment to have a non-stress test done and it was going to be the first time I went to the doctor alone, without Mike. I remember they sat me in a quiet room and hooked me up to the machine. Lila must have known I was nervous because I could hear her heart beating right away and she kept moving around showing heart rate accelerations and decelerations, meaning that she would pass the test sooner and we could go home. I was getting a little bored and so I recorded the sound of her heart beating and sent it to Mike. I can almost hear the sound now as I type this. I would give anything to hear that sound again.

New Years Eve in 2013 I was pregnant with Evie. I had just turned 16 weeks pregnant and we were just going in for a standard appointment. The nurse went to listen to her heartbeat with the doppler machine and she could not find it. Though Mike still swears he heard it right away. While I just proceeded to lose it and started crying and just imagined the worst. It was terrifying. The doctor said he was sure things were okay, but he wanted us to have an ultrasound anyway so we could see. Did I ever say how the doctor we had with Evie was the best doctor in the world? Because he his. So we went in for the ultrasound and there she was swimming all around. Her back was turned to the screen which probably explained why we couldn't hear the heartbeat, because she was turned around! We were supposed to find out two weeks later if she was a boy or a girl, but the tech told us right then and there that she was all girl! Mike and I couldn't believe it. Two girls. A very scary moment had turned into a most wonderful day.

I am not sure what we will be doing this year. Like I said before it is just a strange day. The end of a wonderful year where we welcomed Eve to our family and she is the most amazing joy in our life as we get to cherish every second with her. Yet another year without Lila ends and a new one is upon us. 2015 marks two whole years without her, She is just so far away now.

We wish all of you a happy and safe 2015 and hope your holiday season was peaceful.

Love, the Rupinsky family (Mike, Jenny, Lila and Eve)